So I believe my humans are starting to see things my way. My prayers were answered this morning when one of my humans locked Tang away in the room they call the office. I had the whole house to myself. I was able to eat in peace, had first choice in which bed I wanted to nap, and had the time of my life teasing Tang from the other side of the door. He was begging me to help him. He was scratching in vain at the bottom of the door frame. I told him he had better stop or else the humans would be quite mad when they returned to find their paint flaked in a pile on the floor. He wouldn't give up his attempts. He was mentioning something about not having a litter box and being left without food in there. He's just weak. I told him what doesn't kill him makes him stronger. I also convinced him he must get into the closet and play in Kristen's wedding dress. He got into the closet, but from the sound of things he got distracted and decided to chew on the trumpet case instead. I still think he should have listened to me and wrecked the wedding dress. Had he wrecked the dress, I think I would have had a stronger case for sending him back to the shelter he came from. Sadly after only 5 hours of peace, one of my humans came home and released him from captivity. Would you believe it, when he was released he actually gave snuggles and kisses to the human. How can he even call himself a cat?!? Hasn't he read the cat code of conduct? When wronged, it is imperative the wronged feline hold a grudge for at least 24 hours. The wronged feline must make their dissension known by leaving wet little messes in places they know their humans are bound to step. The feline must also be aloof and show a turned up tail as often as possible to show their feelings about the situation in question. My fellow feline followers, by disregarding the cat code of conduct Tang has shown a total lack of responsibility to his species. This my friends is why I should be your choice for President of the Cat house. Tang, you just can't trust him. Fuzzbucket '08.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Today was the best day of my life
So I believe my humans are starting to see things my way. My prayers were answered this morning when one of my humans locked Tang away in the room they call the office. I had the whole house to myself. I was able to eat in peace, had first choice in which bed I wanted to nap, and had the time of my life teasing Tang from the other side of the door. He was begging me to help him. He was scratching in vain at the bottom of the door frame. I told him he had better stop or else the humans would be quite mad when they returned to find their paint flaked in a pile on the floor. He wouldn't give up his attempts. He was mentioning something about not having a litter box and being left without food in there. He's just weak. I told him what doesn't kill him makes him stronger. I also convinced him he must get into the closet and play in Kristen's wedding dress. He got into the closet, but from the sound of things he got distracted and decided to chew on the trumpet case instead. I still think he should have listened to me and wrecked the wedding dress. Had he wrecked the dress, I think I would have had a stronger case for sending him back to the shelter he came from. Sadly after only 5 hours of peace, one of my humans came home and released him from captivity. Would you believe it, when he was released he actually gave snuggles and kisses to the human. How can he even call himself a cat?!? Hasn't he read the cat code of conduct? When wronged, it is imperative the wronged feline hold a grudge for at least 24 hours. The wronged feline must make their dissension known by leaving wet little messes in places they know their humans are bound to step. The feline must also be aloof and show a turned up tail as often as possible to show their feelings about the situation in question. My fellow feline followers, by disregarding the cat code of conduct Tang has shown a total lack of responsibility to his species. This my friends is why I should be your choice for President of the Cat house. Tang, you just can't trust him. Fuzzbucket '08.
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