I defend my turf...

Let there be no mistake here my loyal followers, I mean business. I'm not sure what the heck my humans were thinking, but they allowed evil little human spawns into my Bucket Lair. I had a happy situation here for 3 years. Quiet, relaxing, cats out numbering humans 3 to 2, It was paradise. My humans must have had a stroke or something because for the past 3 days it has been total bedlam. The cat to human ratio has been thrown way off, humans out numbering cats 5 to 3. Don't even get me started on Mr. Ragamuffin, consorting with the enemy, aiding and abetting, doing everything in his power to diminish the power of cats in the eyes of the humans.I could not let my good aloof cat reputation go down in a fiery wreck like this. I had to lay down the law. After bearing being tormented by the evil twins for what seemed like a lifetime, I just had to unleash my Fuzzy-bucket rapid fire double claw action wrath on his most vulnerable spot, I was aiming for the eyes, but he turned at the last moment.
Above you see my handy work, my left hook got him across the right side of the face. I drew a bit of blood by piercing his ear. Nothing is more empowering than feeling your sharpened claws digging into the flesh of your new found enemy.

I hear talk that the unwanted human guests will be departing tomorrow, I hope that my fine handy work might have had something to do with it. I hope for the sake of the cat house they will not be coming back anytime soon. If they do, I will have my claws ready.

What's this?

Fe Fi Fo Fim, I smell the blood of some stinky vermin. Hello guests. I see you have decided to join the hunt. I have been working hard for the last hour. I successfully chased a little mouse onto one of the cooking units the humans have all around the house. Very convienent and thoughtful if you ask me. I wonder if any other cats have these warm contraptions at their disposal. I do wish they got a little hotter though because I do prefer my critters more on the crispy side. Too bad my humans are tightwads, what is this heating oil and how do I acquire some so I can properly grill my meals?


I was doing just fine, periodically poking at my "fast food", have you seen those little buggers run? Sorry for my digression, anyway, I was poking my meal making sure it was behaving when the new bain of my existance arrived. I don't know what Ragamuffin was thinking or who he even thought he was, but I had put some good hard work into this project and I was not about to back off my find. That is when things starting going horribly awry. As soon as the white fluff ball showed up, my dinner jumped from it's spot on my grates and started running down the cooker.
Ragamuffin cornered him at the end, but this was one smart meal, it must have been to play dead and fool me for so long. When it got to the end it elevated itself off my heating plates and remained still. Ragamuffin got between me and the mouse and that is when it all went downhill for me. Rags threw a mean right hook and dislodged the critter from it's perch. Remember how fast they are? Well, all I can say is that thing took off like Tang when he has to use the litter box. It only took Rags a few seconds to pounce and trap the vermin. But what happend next, I'm still trying to get over it.
That little scoundrel claimed that mouse for himself and ran all over the house with it. My human was chasing him around trying to open doors, telling him to "GET OUT", why won't she open doors for me? Why is Rags so darn special? The worst part is, after all that hard work, Rags got distracted and like an idiot, let all my work run away into the wall. My human was not pleased. Oh well, I guess this just means there's more fun to be had later. I'll keep you posted on further attempts.

Coming at you live from the Blizzard of '09...

Kitty-orologist Fuzzbucket coming at you live from blustery Connecticut. After examining the sky from my warm house, I can say with some certainly, it has officially stopped snowing. I know, I am quite talented. It does take a very keen and well trained eye to deduce such information.Tang dove right into the fluffy stuff, doing his best impression of a wild cat on the prowl. I think I've seen this pose before on the cover of Cat Fancy. He seemed to enjoy himself, even burried his head right into the blisteringly cold crystals.

Me on the other hand, I'm not a fan of this "snow". It makes my paws tingle and stands my fur on end. It crunches between my toes and I am afraid of this Jack Frost fellow my humans speak of. Do they really think he'll be nipping at my nose? Watch out Jack, I have amazing reflexes and I bet my nip can get your nose before you get mine. How would you like to walk around with a mangled mess in the middle of your face? Not sounding quite so appealing? Maybe you should think about your pasttime then, don't deal it out if you can't handle a taste of your own medicine.

Consider me a fat cat...

Hello all, sorry for not communicating sooner. I'm still recovering from Fat Tuesday. Let me tell you, I was one busy little dirty kitty. Look at all my beads! I worked my little tail off for these beauties. I never understood the whole tradition, but this year I figured what the heck, let's live on the wild side for once. I met up with this alley cat, Mr Lickums, and we ironically finagled a way to "ride the dog" all the way to New Orleans (that's took a Greyhound bus for those of you not in the know). Tang would have been in heaven, there was beer spilling EVERYWHERE! It was a whirlwind trip, many details are still a little cloudy, but I made it home safe and sound and I have my beads to dangle and tease little Ragamuffin from now until eternity.

I've got the gunz...

Hello there Bucket! Remember me? It's Tang, your arch nemesis. Hope things are going well for you there, because I have acquired a most amazing product from the thing the humans call the world wide web. I have gained access to the very secret inter web site known to the smart, as e-bay. Us in the know, have realized it's immense potential. I have obtained a very dangerous item the humans refer to as, "The Atomic ball gun." Only $5.99 with $3 shipping. This artisan crafted object of beauty will be my savior during the period I will from here on in refer to as, "The time of Fuzzy's past." It guarantees my success by annihilating all furry beasts such as yourself. Only those I deem acceptable for life (such as my buddy Ragamuffin) will be granted asylum in my new kingdom. Good luck Fuzzbucket! You are no match for my glowing plastic force of death! Mwahahahahahhhh!

Here's looking at you Fuzz...

Hey there Fuzzbucket, self appointed ruler of all things cats. It's me, Ragamuffin and my sidekick Tang. We have a bone to pick with you. We are sick of you strutting around thinking your litter don't stink. Yeah, I said it. Well you know what Bucket? Sadly, you're right. Stupid humans got that new world's best litter crap. But that's besides the point. You know what I mean. You think you are all high and mighty. Well you know what? Tang and I are great climbers. Let's see how mighty you are when we double team sneak attack your fuzzy butt. Why do you have the name Fuzzbucket anyway? If anything I should be the fuzzbucket, look at my beautiful flowing long silky smooth and soft...I mean, rugged, manly, dirt laden tail. Yeah, what the heck is with the name Ragamuffin anyway. Muffin, really? Am I something for people to eat? Anyway, names aside, if I were you Bucket, I'd always be looking over my shoulder. You never know when a coup is going to rise up and overthrow the ruling power. Consider this a warning, be afraid. Be very afraid!

Do you smell something?

Something stinks in my living quarters. I'm not referring to the hairless mole rat imitators I live with, aka humans. I'm talking about the one and only Ragamuffin. Ever since that long hair creature entered the scene, my life has been a living hell. Fur ball tumbleweeds blowing across the floor, late night pounce fests when all I want to do is sleep. I think Ragamuffin might have even been the one that sold me out to the humans regarding my desire to rule the world.

Look at that sickening face there. He plays the cute card every chance he gets. Playing with the heart strings of the humans, he has them in the center pad of his little paw. He is my kryptonite. His mere existence causes my fur to stand on end. He is the prime example of the downfall of the cat name, all friendly and cuddly, not at all aloof. He makes me sick. The house would be a better place without Ragamuffin in it. Tang doesn't agree, but Tang isn't worth my spit.

I'm ready for my comeback!

Hello to all the cats, critters, and verm...I mean humans who loyally followed me through my escapades. I hope you haven't missed me too much. I deeply apologize for my truancy. Much has happened during my absence from the internet. I know it must have been hard for all you simple minded folk, having to find a new leader and all, but I see that you managed to survive. As some of you may or may not know, I was in the running for president of the cat house. It was me vs Tang. To make a long story short, my humans got wind of my plot to dominate this fine establishment and squashed all my hopes and dreams. They ended my hopes for kitty supremacy and as punishment for (what they call), "My actions against a peaceful kitten society," banished me from all internet workings and communication outlets. I was on house arrest. I had a leg band and everything. It beeped at the slightest inhalation of catnip. How is a cat to survive conditions like this? Well, I made it through my time, and I assure you, my loyal followers. Fuzzy will rise again, and when she does, my humans will be sorry.

Backyard Safari

I love the warm weather we have been having lately. Though my humans do not like to let me outside, they mumble something about coyotes, dogs, hawks, and cars; I whine and cry until they agree to accompany me in my adventures. I guess supervised fun is better than no fun at all, though sometimes they make me feel like I'm some sort of criminal.

This kitty does not enjoy being watched like a hawk. I like my freedom. We have an acre of property crawling with little critters. This girl wants to get at them. Last I checked, catching a chipmunk is not a crime in Connecticut.

Judging from the sheer number I see running around our property there is no shortage in the population. I believe there should be some sort of prize for trapping and perhaps disposing of the little vermin. I think I should single handedly start the population control that so obviously needs to take place in the chipmunk department. Maybe I can get Tang and Ragamuffin to join me in my quest to control the Connecticut chipmunk population. All we have to do is figure out how to get the humans out of our fur while we are outside.

Feeding time at the zoo

I'm all about a little wet food from time to time. The sound of the can opener brings the saliva to my mouth. Feeding time used to be so much more enjoyable before the little Ragamuffin was around. I had space to enjoy my meal. Now, I'm shoulder to shoulder with my competition. It is a little unnerving.

To make matters worse, little Rags has a most unpleasant odor to him. My humans and the vet attribute this stench to something they call a skunk. I'm not too sure what this "skunk" is, but I must say, I'm currently not very fond of the creature. Anything that can create an odor that lingers as long this musky scent has on the new kitty's fur must be a pawn of the devil.

I have enjoyed watching my humans soak little rags in the indoor rain shower. They even sprayed him with some weird soaps featuring a black and white little furry animal on the can. I hope this situation is resolved soon. I'd like to start enjoying my meals again without an olfactory assault each time the little man tries to eat near me.

Until then, I'm not going to tolerate meals in between Tang and Rags, a cat can only take so much abuse.

Happy Birthday to Tang

Woooo Hoooo, I'm finally 2. The best thing about getting older is all the junk you get wrapped in fun paper and ribbons. Boy I love ribbons, they are almost as fun as crusty mouse toys. Well, it's Cinco de Mayo and you all know how I love to get my drink on. Check you later.

Let's Wrassle!

Hey all, it's Tang here. I have realized this new addition to the household is not too bad. I have always wanted a wrasslin' buddy and now I have finally found one. Fuzzbucket has never been much for physical altercations, something about fur placement and looking good for her fans.

My humans might have gotten something right here. I won't lie, I did think they were off their gourds when they brought this furry trouble maker home last week, but I will admit they may not be as dumb as they look. I look forward to playing with this little menace for a long while.

I finally caught one!

After many weeks stalking them down, I finally succeeded in overtaking a chipmunk. I was so excited with my catch I quickly ran to the front door to give my humans their prize. Little did I know their apparent dislike for such a cute and fun toy.

I thought it was the perfect gift, sweet, cuddly and occasionally squeaky. Everything a person could want. I figured I could sneak it inside and let it go in the house for everyone to enjoy. Judging by the way he races around the house, I bet Ragamuffin would have had a field day with the little chippy.

My human did not seem to appreciate my choice in gift this time. She was actually kind of mad at me. I'm not sure what she is afraid of. A chipmunk is about half the size of her fist, what did she think it could possibly do to her? I just don't understand humans, they don't know a good gift when it come squeaking at their front door.

Crazy kitten in the house

This new crazy kitten in the house is not as welcome as our humans thought it might be. I have been tolerating the intrusion because I see the value in courting a potential vote. Don't get me wrong, if the little fur ball gets too close, I let him know who's boss.

Tang is still scared to death of the little guy. I'm not too sure why, he is about half our size and has a puffy tail. Who can take a fluffy cat seriously? It's like he is a fluffy toy. Maybe Tang will warm up to him soon. I hope so, because I miss my late night trips to the upstairs bathroom. Since the little one arrived, we've had to make the long trek down the 13 steps just to drink and pee. The trip may be helping my waist line, but it sure is killing my hips.

Day two of the menace

So, day two is upon us. I feel this new fuzzy addition is here to stay. Our humans are being quite sneaky. I feel this infiltration of our home might have something to do with our human's inability to pass up cute and fuzzy creatures.

They have blocked us from the upstairs bathroom. I smell wafts of stink permeating from beneath the door. I'm starting to get used to this odor around the house. Sadly, I have to admit, Tang too is getting used to the stink of our new long term friend. He is no longer in hiding.

I was kind of hoping he'd stay terrorized by my new found furry menace so I could easily take over control of the cat house. With Tang quickly back in the picture, I am sad to realize this new addition to our household will not benefit me in anyway in the upcoming election. I actually fear Tang may actually gain a new supporter, Ragamuffin is definitely of the same mentality as Tang, if you get my drift.

What the Punk?

Who is this new menace in our midst? My humans call this new addition to the household Ragamuffin. He is a terror comparable to Tang but perhaps a little more enjoyable. His one saving grace is he actually terrifies Tang to the point of hiding. Come to think of it, I'm kind of liking little Rags for the moment. Any kitty who can keep Tang in a corner can potentially be my friend.

SUGAR!

In honor of the warm weather, I have decided it is appropriate to eat marshmallows every day. My humans disagree with me, they keep throwing around terms like "obesity" and "tooth decay". They need to lighten up. What's wrong with a little sugar everyday? I think they should calm down and let me live my life.

Sushi night

MMMM...the deliciousness of sushi, how I love it. My human was extra nice to us today. She must have felt guilty that she left us alone all day because when she came home she had a special treat for Tang and me. You've got it, tuna sushi. There's nothing better.

We couldn't wait to chow down on our slabs of tuna. Both of us were having a little trouble with the big hunk of meat. Tang actually took his in his mouth and ran around the kitchen and living room for a hot minute. Our human was not too happy about that.


She finally got a clue and helped us out by cutting our fish into nice little cubes. She should know by now, we expect service. How dare she not cut our food into little pieces in the first place? What does she think we are, wild animals? Oh, no...no...no...my friends, there are no saber tooth tigers here. Though the jury is still out on Tang, he does have quite the primitive brain if you ask me, and a bite that sure does smart.

Though we are not wild animals, we definitely are not as refined as some felines I have seen while surfing the web. Check out this crazy cat, her human makes me appreciate the two I have. Jeez.

Winky no more

Thank you to all those who were concerned for my wellbeing yesterday. My winky eye has begun to heal and my vision is returning to normal. Fuzzy needs to get over her anger issues. I think she was just all jazzed up on the mallows. You've seen her with the peeps, she gets crazy. Nothing like a sugar rush to put you in a tailspin. From now on, I'll remember to steer clear of Fuzzy when she is in a mood with a 'tude. One thing I don't need in my life is more drama. I get enough of that from the humans.

You mess with Fuzz and yout get the claws

Look here Kris, you promise me an escape to a land called New York City, where there are vermin hiding in every corner for me to hunt. What were you thinking when you showed up with this poor excuse of a travel bag? Can you even fit a pair of undies in there?

If you are going to make promises, you best be able to deliver. I'm Fuzzbucket, I don't easily forget. I will keep this in mind for your next visit. You know that man you love so much? Keep in mind he's allergic to me.

I swear if you ever pull something like this again, I will blast him with a dander ball that is liable to send him into anaphylactic shock. Hear me now missy, you better bring an epi-pen along with you from now on because Bucket will have her revenge. Check below if you don't believe me.

Tang crossed me on Saturday. He stole my marshmallow when I was promised chocolate-less smores by my humans. Now he has a winky eye. I don't mess around people, I mean business. You mess with Fuzz, you get the claws. I even drew a little blood from him. Just imagine what I could do to your fur-less skin.