They're back...

Whoopty-flippin-do. The humans are back. As if I care about them. They deserted me for what seemed like forever and expected me to be all happy upon their return. You want to know what humans?!? Fuzzbucket knows how to deal with defectors like yourselves.

I pooped under your bed. That's right, right in the middle of the floor. Far enough under there so your stumpy arms can't reach it. Do you know what that is called? Do you? That's right, pure unadulterated spite. That's right, SPITE! I'll teach you to leave me again. With every whiff of wafting excrement stink, you will be reminded of who you are dealing with.

Do you have any idea what I had to put up with in your absence? Lets just say while the humans are away Tang will...I wish there was a suitable rhyme to complete that phrase, but sadly all I can say is Tang was the most abhorrent, miserable, self centered bully you could ever imagine. I don't believe my nerves will ever recover. He has me looking around every bend and checking over my shoulder, waiting for the next sneak attack.

A message to you humans. If you ever, EVER leave me alone with Tang again I swear you will have to deal with a wrath you might never be able to recover from. Don't believe me, think I'm bluffing? Go ahead, try me. I hope you will forever enjoy scaring little kids with a mere glance at your faces.