Super Tuesday...

The campaign has started to take a turn for the worse. Scandalous pictures from my past have been surfacing and when taken out of context make it seem like I at one point in my life was in bed with the enemy. I assure you my loyal followers, I have never enjoyed Tang's company nor have I ever agreed with his views on human and cat relations. The picture I place before you is a scam. Tang was planted with me while I slept in the sun one lovely afternoon.
What you don't see here is what happened to Tang once I fully awoke and realized what was going on. My loyal followers, on this, the eve of the cat house primaries, please listen when I say there is no place in this house for Tang. His campaign is mudslinging and using cheap tricks to forward his drive for the presidency. He wants to distract us from the fact that he is young and inexperienced. Just because we have never had an orange president before doesn't mean we have to cut him some slack. I guarantee I am the cat for the job. Ignore cheap tricks and photographic lies. Vote for me tomorrow. Tang, you can't trust him. Fuzzbucket '08.