Fe Fi Fo Fim, I smell the blood of some stinky vermin. Hello guests. I see you have decided to join the hunt. I have been working hard for the last hour. I successfully chased a little mouse onto one of the cooking units the humans have all around the house. Very convienent and thoughtful if you ask me. I wonder if any other cats have these warm contraptions at their disposal. I do wish they got a little hotter though because I do prefer my critters more on the crispy side. Too bad my humans are tightwads, what is this heating oil and how do I acquire some so I can properly grill my meals?
I was doing just fine, periodically poking at my "fast food", have you seen those little buggers run? Sorry for my digression, anyway, I was poking my meal making sure it was behaving when the new bain of my existance arrived. I don't know what Ragamuffin was thinking or who he even thought he was, but I had put some good hard work into this project and I was not about to back off my find. That is when things starting going horribly awry. As soon as the white fluff ball showed up, my dinner jumped from it's spot on my grates and started running down the cooker.
Ragamuffin cornered him at the end, but this was one smart meal, it must have been to play dead and fool me for so long. When it got to the end it elevated itself off my heating plates and remained still. Ragamuffin got between me and the mouse and that is when it all went downhill for me. Rags threw a mean right hook and dislodged the critter from it's perch. Remember how fast they are? Well, all I can say is that thing took off like Tang when he has to use the litter box. It only took Rags a few seconds to pounce and trap the vermin. But what happend next, I'm still trying to get over it.
That little scoundrel claimed that mouse for himself and ran all over the house with it. My human was chasing him around trying to open doors, telling him to "GET OUT", why won't she open doors for me? Why is Rags so darn special? The worst part is, after all that hard work, Rags got distracted and like an idiot, let all my work run away into the wall. My human was not pleased. Oh well, I guess this just means there's more fun to be had later. I'll keep you posted on further attempts.
I could not let my good aloof cat reputation go down in a fiery wreck like this. I had to lay down the law. After bearing being tormented by the evil twins for what seemed like a lifetime, I just had to unleash my Fuzzy-bucket rapid fire double claw action wrath on his most vulnerable spot, I was aiming for the eyes, but he turned at the last moment.
Above you see my handy work, my left hook got him across the right side of the face. I drew a bit of blood by piercing his ear. Nothing is more empowering than feeling your sharpened claws digging into the flesh of your new found enemy.
I hear talk that the unwanted human guests will be departing tomorrow, I hope that my fine handy work might have had something to do with it. I hope for the sake of the cat house they will not be coming back anytime soon. If they do, I will have my claws ready.
