Sushi night

MMMM...the deliciousness of sushi, how I love it. My human was extra nice to us today. She must have felt guilty that she left us alone all day because when she came home she had a special treat for Tang and me. You've got it, tuna sushi. There's nothing better.

We couldn't wait to chow down on our slabs of tuna. Both of us were having a little trouble with the big hunk of meat. Tang actually took his in his mouth and ran around the kitchen and living room for a hot minute. Our human was not too happy about that.


She finally got a clue and helped us out by cutting our fish into nice little cubes. She should know by now, we expect service. How dare she not cut our food into little pieces in the first place? What does she think we are, wild animals? Oh, no...no...no...my friends, there are no saber tooth tigers here. Though the jury is still out on Tang, he does have quite the primitive brain if you ask me, and a bite that sure does smart.

Though we are not wild animals, we definitely are not as refined as some felines I have seen while surfing the web. Check out this crazy cat, her human makes me appreciate the two I have. Jeez.

Winky no more

Thank you to all those who were concerned for my wellbeing yesterday. My winky eye has begun to heal and my vision is returning to normal. Fuzzy needs to get over her anger issues. I think she was just all jazzed up on the mallows. You've seen her with the peeps, she gets crazy. Nothing like a sugar rush to put you in a tailspin. From now on, I'll remember to steer clear of Fuzzy when she is in a mood with a 'tude. One thing I don't need in my life is more drama. I get enough of that from the humans.

You mess with Fuzz and yout get the claws

Look here Kris, you promise me an escape to a land called New York City, where there are vermin hiding in every corner for me to hunt. What were you thinking when you showed up with this poor excuse of a travel bag? Can you even fit a pair of undies in there?

If you are going to make promises, you best be able to deliver. I'm Fuzzbucket, I don't easily forget. I will keep this in mind for your next visit. You know that man you love so much? Keep in mind he's allergic to me.

I swear if you ever pull something like this again, I will blast him with a dander ball that is liable to send him into anaphylactic shock. Hear me now missy, you better bring an epi-pen along with you from now on because Bucket will have her revenge. Check below if you don't believe me.

Tang crossed me on Saturday. He stole my marshmallow when I was promised chocolate-less smores by my humans. Now he has a winky eye. I don't mess around people, I mean business. You mess with Fuzz, you get the claws. I even drew a little blood from him. Just imagine what I could do to your fur-less skin.

Thank you!

Kris said...

Dear Fuzz-bucket,

This is an outrage! You need to call DYFS, or its equivalent in your state, right away. Child neglect is a crime... you could have died for all they care. You could have been pecked to death or swooped down on by one of those intolerable hawks... Or worse yet, you could have come face to face with a wild ugly! Just the thought of the perils you were exposed to makes us want to take you away from the abusive and neglectful home you have the misfortune of inhabiting. Shame on your irresponsible humans. When we are there this weekend, we will leave a space for you in our bag. The option is on the table if you decide to take us up on it.

Good luck in the coming days... Be strong, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you Kris for your sympathy. One of my humans has coached me to respond that I do not need your luggage to save me. I have already been saved from the troubled life I was destined to live when one of my humans stopped and ventured into the North Shore Animal League bus parked along the street in Stamford.

According to their coaching, I am truly thankful for the opportunities my humans offer me and would not trade them in for anything. They rescued me from the barking dogs kenneled up in the claustrophobic bus. I am happy with my current situation and wouldn't change it for anything. As for facilities dealing with neglect. I believe I would fall under the SPCA rather than your NJ DYFS, or the CT version, DCF. Really, please contact SPCA in Monroe, CT on my behalf. Just having to deal with Tang on a daily basis should qualify as abuse.

Fuzz is knocking but no one is home

Hello all, sorry for my inability to pry Tang away from the computer the last couple of days. He was insistent on telling his plight. For those who care, he is still crusty and bald, but dealing with his situation pretty well.

As for me, I was doing well with my much needed vacation from the blog until recent events unfolded. The beautiful weather we've been having has allowed me to go out with my humans for long periods of time. Sadly, today was not the best outdoor experience for me.

It all started out well, the chipmunks were scurrying, the birds flying, and the squirrels squirreling, there wasn't even a cloud in the sky. Then my human decided to go inside and left me for a bit by myself. Nothing wrong with that, I'm all about a little independence.

It is what happened next that gets my fur all in a bunch, the phone rang. Normally this small incident would not have bothered me at all, however, shortly after the phone rang my human got in the car and left the property. HELLO! I can't get into the house on my own, I HAVE NO OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!!!

I was forgotten like a piece of trash. The pure neglect was enough to make me want to cry. There Tang was, standing on the other side of the door taunting me with my favorite toys while all I could do was stare back. I've never felt so powerless in my life.

One hour later my humans returned. I made sure I ran to the front door to remind them I existed and needed to be let back inside. I mewed my most pathetic cries to make sure they understood my disappointment in them. They must have gotten the message because they went out and got me my snazzy sailor collar you can see me wearing in the picture posted above.

Next time, we have to make sure it is Tang on the other side of the door. I'm pretty sure if I can get my humans to forget him outside, he would do something stupid and be out of my life forever. That would be the day.

Mange is the Rage?

Listen here Kris, I am not appreciative of your comment below. Mange is NOT the rage and bald patches are definitely not cool! You must have been on the same page as my humans last night. No more than 5 minutes after I finished the blog, my humans attacked me with a buzzing tool of fur destruction.

Tufts of my fur were flying through the air while I struggled to claw my way out of my human's grip. When I was finally freed, I had a naked right front leg. I hope my fur grows back quickly, I feel funny all naked like this.

I'm a little crusty....

Hello all, Tang here. Since Fuzzy has neglected her duties to her loyal followers, I have decided I will keep you abreast of recent events. This weekend our humans left us to fend for ourselves while they went to visit the mini monster humans Chetty-pie (a.k.a. Chester) spoke of back in March.

While the humans were gallivanting across the country, their fuzzy children yearned for some affections back at home. During their disappearance we received correspondence from Chester, and were dismayed to find the affections we have grown to love were being commandeered by our supposed friend. I always knew that furry feline was trouble. Like I always say, you can't trust a cat that lives in a compound, they tend to be shady, scrappy, alley type cats.

To add insult to injury, somehow while our humans were gone I managed to get some sticky substance on the fur of my right front leg. I'm not sure where it came from, but I believe it could potentially be some vestige of the toxic glue from the bridal shower invitation envelopes Fuzzy slaved over the other day. All I do know is I have been licking my leg raw for the past couple of days and have made no progress in the cleansing department.

When our wayward humans finally returned they noticed my plight, and in their defense, they did attempt to rectify the situation. However, I'm sad to admit, since they assisted me by scrubbing my leg with the deliciously scented rose petal kitten shampoo, not much progress has been made in the crusty fur department.

Maybe tomorrow they will listen to my plea and will assist me with some astringent, or at least some goo remover. I see the man with the beard advertise a great product on the glowing window my humans stare at most nights. He swears it removes any gooey product from any material. At this point I'm willing to try anything, short of chewing off my leg, to remove this crud from my fur. Every time I bring it up they throw around meaningless words like carcinogenic and mortality. I don't think they understand the importance of a silky coat. Until next time, Tang.